The other day we had our first snow day of the year – a treasured event in my world. For most, after college snow days lose their luster, if they even continue to exist at all. As a teacher, snow days are just as exciting to me as they were in 3rd grade, possibly even moreso. At least they were?I’ve now been off for just over 2 weeks, but Tuesday was when it became real – when I was home on leave, not just winter break. Tuesday school resumed without me, which felt weird, mostly in that it didn’t really feel that weird. Then Thursday came – a snow day just days after returning from break, like hitting the lottery – and it was weird feeling nothing. I was already off that day anyway, so what’s the big deal. I realized during the day, however, that this was not why it felt different.

Usually a snow day is a day of luxury or a day of fun. If it’s a real snow day, you sleep in, lounge around the house in sweats, make yourself a grilled cheese and watch movies. In the DC area many snow days are not warranted, which usually meant these days you’d get together with other teachers who are off for what amounts to no good reason for lunch, happy hour, or maybe happy hour starting at lunch. Today however, was like the day before and the day after it, taking care of Maddie being the priority of course, and I realized that this was the new normal. Snow days would no longer be about lounging or adult recess, but now it would be much more about daycare and this will only amplify over the years.

This moment of realization is really emblematic of the changing “normal” for us these days – we spent New Year’s Eve at a friend’s house who hosted a party. Maddie attended as well. She was incredibly well behaved, and slept for the grand majority of the evening upstairs in a guest room: providing added entertainment for partygoers who also got to watch the baby monitor in addition to “New Year’s Steve.” That said, what used to be as simple as calling an Uber, showing up, and Uber-ing home hours later has become a much more complicated process. Deciding what gear to bring, packing the diaper bag full of every possible contingency item, loading the car, and then the joy of looking for parking at about 8pm on NYE – all just for arrival. We had a great time with friends, went home around 1/1:30 – both completely sober, and were really happy to have Maddie there with us. But there is no escaping the truth that we now live in a different reality than had previously existed.

Madison is a complete joy, and we are extremely lucky in regards to how good of a baby she has been so far, but it needs to be acknowledged how intense this all is. There is the implicit stress and pressure with now being responsible for the safety and well being of this tiny little human, but that is nothing compared to the all encompassing, fully consuming nature of having a baby – probably actually having a child in general. I’m not going to pretend that this has all been easy and fun, my wife and I are very much adjusting on the fly and are trying to figure out each new bump in the road – usually after we’ve crashed into it. We’ve definitely had our high points and low ones as well, but thankfully have been able to acknowledge and talk through the harder points so far. This said, in consideration of all the concepts I’ve said here, I can’t put into words how fortunate I feel to have this time off…both selfishly for the time I get to spend home with Madison, but also to be able to help my wife as she transitions back to work and how to process that, and just in general as we figure out how this new family concept even functions. This week will be intense as my wife will be working give or take 80 hours, not counting post-call recuperation sleep time, but I’m ok with that (we can see how I feel in about a week).

The blog builder let me add a countdown to this site, but don’t think for a second that I’ll be happy when that countdown reaches 0.

*disclaimer: song only included due to its association with the awful 90’s movie “Snow Day,” my apologies.